As a PR professional, I’m often amused by the sheer incompetence of the Bush spin machine–can you say “Brownie, you’re doing a heckofa job”?–as well as their desire to micromanage everything in a usually failed attempt to make the president look good. (If the Dems don’t make much hay over “Mission Accomplished” in 2008, they’re really asleep at the switch.)

But this one takes the cake. Or maybe the wheatfield. Or the henhouse. Today’s New York times ran an editorial about–are you sitting down?–a Department of Agriculture talking points memo that provided ways to jump from discussions of American crop issues to what a bully good job the administration is doing in Iraq. The paper used the marvelous headline, “An Agriprop Guide to Cluck and Awe.”

And watch out, because the bureaucrats are keeping score:

Included was a caution that speechmakers should keep a record of their compliance, and turn in point-scoring summaries to be tallied for weekly reports to the White House.

And what might some of these talking points be?

  • “Iraqi farmers use U.S. aid to buy American feed and are working to ‘update 25-year-old chicken houses'”
  • “‘Iraq is part of the ‘fertile crescent’ of Mesopotamia,’ where mankind first domesticated wheat thousands of years ago, this suggestion begins. Then it moves to the clincher: ‘In recent years, however, the birthplace of farming has been in trouble.'”

    Clearly the see-no-evils are at it again–and I am one copywriter who’s real glad I don’t work for this agency!

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    Why do these people think for a moment that they can pull this crap and not get caught? Once again, we see proof that unethical behavior not only gives you a guilty conscience, but when (not if) you get caught, it’ll blow up in your face. Even if it doesn’t seem to be working in the scandal-ridden US government at the moment, it will. Meanwhile, Japan’s opposition party has just shot itself in the foot, big time, by faking an e-mail alleging connection to a corporation under investigation.

    Party leader Seiji Maehara and his lieutenants stepped down after the party’s credibility was torpedoed by one of its own lawmakers, who used a fraudulent e-mail in an apparent attempt to discredit Koizumi’s ruling Liberal Democratic Party.

    The funny thing is I’m sure they could have found some real dirt–no need to make any up. then the scandal would have played their way.

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    If you follow business scandals, as I do, you’ll notice that a good many of the largest take place outside the US. There are constant reports from Japan, China, Africa, and elsewhere. In Europe, Italy’s Parmalat scandal got a fair bit of attention, among others.

    So it was rather a shock to read this Newsweek article about the dramatic collapse of a large state-owned bank due to poorly chosen investments in real estate deals that went ahead without the usual scrutiny.

    What’s really disturbing is that people knew about this all the way back to 2000. German taxpayers are left holding the bag underneath the rubble of Bankgesellschaft Berlin (BGB). The first trials of the company’s executives began last month.

    Noting that the Enron debacle helped push through Sarbanes-Oxley and other reforms, Newsweek expresses its surprise that…

    In Germany the response has been almost the opposite—public indifference and an official response that, at best, has been tepid and, at worst, amounts to a deliberate effort to enshroud the case in “extreme secrecy,” according to corruption watchdog group Transparency International.

    We had our own bank scandal based on “handshake” approvals for real estate deals here in Western Massachusetts about 15 years ago, and it took down one of the largest regional banks. The beautiful Northampton main branch, once the corporate headquarters, still remains vacant after more than a decade. But there was no shortage of reporting about it, and I think that made the banking community stronger—because the community wanted to protect itself from such a thing happening again.

    The article goes on to criticize the secretive German business structure that makes it hard to investigate or reform. Something German citizens who care about these things may want to change.

    Interestingly enough, I haven’t had a single signer of the Business Ethics Pledge from Germany. Any Germans want to step up and be first?

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