BP's Form Response to Offer of Help: They STILL Don't Have a Clue
My friend Paul Krupin of Direct Contact PR sent me this memo from the Deepwater Horizon recovery team. Even if the Gulf of Mexico weren’t drowning in BP’s oil–a situation in which you’d expect the form letters would at least act grateful for the advice–this is one of the worst examples of corporate messaging I’ve ever seen.
From: horizon.support@oegllc.com [mailto:horizon.support@oegllc.com]
Sent: Saturday, June 19, 2010 10:08 AM
Subject: An Important Message from Horizon SupportDear Paul Krupin,
Thank you for your submission to the Alternative Response Technology (ART)
process for the Deepwater Horizon MC252 incident. Your submission has been
reviewed for its technical merits.It has been determined that your idea falls into one of the following ART
categories: Already Considered/Planned, Not Feasible, or Not Possible, and
therefore will not be advanced for further evaluation. To date, we have
received over 80,000 submissions with each submission receiving individual
consideration and priority based on merit and need.BP and Horizon Deepwater Unified Command appreciate your contribution
and interest in responding to this incident.Michael J. Cortez
Technical Manager
Alternative Response Technology Team
Deepwater Horizon Call Center – Houston, TX
Tell me what you think (in the comment space below. Then scroll down to see what I think.
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Here’s what I think it’s bureaucratic, it’s off-message, it’s downright snotty, it doesn’t even mention the specific idea submitted before dismissing it, and it doesn’t even give a brief recap of what else they’re trying or why the submitted plan doesn’t work. Oh yeah, and how about that highly specific and targeted subject line NOT? If this came to my mailbox, I’d have assumed it was spam. Eeeeeeew! Couple this with the combination of hubris, selfishness, corner-cutting, and cluelessness shown by BP from Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg and CEO Tony Hayward on down, and it doesn’t paint a pretty PR picture. Is there any wonder the company’s lost half its market cap? They don’t give much confidence in their ability to solve the problem, their understanding of why this is important, and the steps they might be taking to make sure it doesn’t happen again at a different well.
A lifelong activist, profitability and marketing specialist Shel Horowitz’s mission is to fix crises like hunger, poverty, racism, war, and catastrophic climate change—by showing the business world how fixing them can make a profit. An author, international speaker, and TEDx Talker, his award-winning 10th book, Guerrilla Marketing to Heal the World, lays out a blueprint for creating and MARKETING those profitable change-making products and services. He is happy to help you craft your messaging and develop profit strategies. Learn more (and download excerpts from the book) at http://goingbeyondsustainability.com
@BoSoxNewsFeed SMELL THE COFFEE WISEASS: https://tinyurl.com/23cl3fs
@BoSoxNewsFeed SMELL THE COFFEE WISEASS: https://tinyurl.com/23cl3fs
@BoSoxNewsFeed SMELL THE COFFEE WISEASS: https://tinyurl.com/23cl3fs
@BoSoxNewsFeed SMELL THE COFFEE WISEASS: https://tinyurl.com/23cl3fs
Reading: BP’s Form Response to Offer of Help: They STILL Don’t Have a Clue – https://tinyurl.com/23cl3fs
Reading: BP’s Form Response to Offer of Help: They STILL Don’t Have a Clue – https://tinyurl.com/23cl3fs
Reading: BP’s Form Response to Offer of Help: They STILL Don’t Have a Clue – https://tinyurl.com/23cl3fs
Reading: BP’s Form Response to Offer of Help: They STILL Don’t Have a Clue – https://tinyurl.com/23cl3fs
I submitted half a dozen ideas – I got a bunch of identical form letters as per your friend Paul Krupin. The call center takes your particulars and sends you a link to the DeepHorizonResponse submissions form .. i.e. the call center has limited functionality – I sense it more for appearances – they are there 24/7 but so what?
Suddenly, last week I got a positive response from BP – but again; no reference to which of my 6 or 7 ideas. What’s wrong with assigning each and every idea a case number? ( I should submit a suggestion on how to run a suggestion’s submission forum).
It was a weird letter – it stated that they had already sent me a notice indicating my idea as having been elevated to the next level of review (which they hadn’t done) and then they introduced a big fat logic error by cutting and pasting the “It has been determined that your idea falls into one of the following ART
categories: Already Considered/Planned, Not Feasible, or Not Possible – and therefore will not be advanced for further evaluation. ” – ooops! (The right fingers don’t know what the right hand is doing!)
Then I got no less than 3 more ‘no thank you letters’ even though I hadn’t submitted any new proposals. I called the call-center indicating I need a phone call from ‘powers on-high’ to clarify matters – “we don’t have contact information – thank you – goodbye!” click, bzzz! : )’
Originally, they indicate having received 100,000 suggestions with 200 clearing the initial bar now it’s suddenly 80,000 with 250 – clearing the bar. What gives – which is it? Wonder why the ‘re-shuffle’?
I was sent a decision-tree, flow-chart – the ‘ART decision tree’ – I must say; decidedly vague and borderline non-nonsensical. Let’s just say it would not pass high-school Intro to Programming 101. And it was a lousy reproduction – I had to apply enhancement and magnification – to be able to read it – it was just a single simple skin-and-bones outline. Hardly satisfactory – really.
I have to agree with your original assessment re: woefully under-whelming response.
The term “amateur craftsmanship” comes to mind
I can overlook most everything – in relation to this public-input solicitation debacle – except for the lack of case-numbers.
It should be prohibited by law to solicit for public input without assigning a case-number – in the very least.
Companies (3M comes to mind) will not even consider accepting an idea unless you’ve patented it. It’s to protect you and to protect them.
BP is soliciting for ideas without any book-keeping what-so-ever.
Helloo? Earth to BP – come in please! Do you copy? What’s happened to my (multi) million-dollar industry-revolutionizing idea? My “Safety-Casing©” idea. = S
I’d say “unbelievable”–except that it’s entirely too believable(and inexcusable. We could peddle them some spare brains. Thanks for sharing.
I submitted half a dozen ideas – I got a bunch of identical form letters as per your friend Paul Krupin. The call center takes your particulars and sends you a link to the DeepHorizonResponse submissions form .. i.e. the call center has limited functionality – I sense it more for appearances – they are there 24/7 but so what?
Suddenly, last week I got a positive response from BP – but again; no reference to which of my 6 or 7 ideas. What’s wrong with assigning each and every idea a case number? ( I should submit a suggestion on how to run a suggestion’s submission forum).
It was a weird letter – it stated that they had already sent me a notice indicating my idea as having been elevated to the next level of review (which they hadn’t done) and then they introduced a big fat logic error by cutting and pasting the “It has been determined that your idea falls into one of the following ART
categories: Already Considered/Planned, Not Feasible, or Not Possible – and therefore will not be advanced for further evaluation. ” – ooops! (The right fingers don’t know what the right hand is doing!)
Then I got no less than 3 more ‘no thank you letters’ even though I hadn’t submitted any new proposals. I called the call-center indicating I need a phone call from ‘powers on-high’ to clarify matters – “we don’t have contact information – thank you – goodbye!” click, bzzz! : )’
Originally, they indicate having received 100,000 suggestions with 200 clearing the initial bar now it’s suddenly 80,000 with 250 – clearing the bar. What gives – which is it? Wonder why the ‘re-shuffle’?
I was sent a decision-tree, flow-chart – the ‘ART decision tree’ – I must say; decidedly vague and borderline non-nonsensical. Let’s just say it would not pass high-school Intro to Programming 101. And it was a lousy reproduction – I had to apply enhancement and magnification – to be able to read it – it was just a single simple skin-and-bones outline. Hardly satisfactory – really.
I have to agree with your original assessment re: woefully under-whelming response.
The term “amateur craftsmanship” comes to mind
I can overlook most everything – in relation to this public-input solicitation debacle – except for the lack of case-numbers.
It should be prohibited by law to solicit for public input without assigning a case-number – in the very least.
Companies (3M comes to mind) will not even consider accepting an idea unless you’ve patented it. It’s to protect you and to protect them.
BP is soliciting for ideas without any book-keeping what-so-ever.
Helloo? Earth to BP – come in please! Do you copy? What’s happened to my (multi) million-dollar industry-revolutionizing idea? My “Safety-Casing©” idea. = S
I’d say “unbelievable”–except that it’s entirely too believable(and inexcusable. We could peddle them some spare brains. Thanks for sharing.
I submitted half a dozen ideas – I got a bunch of identical form letters as per your friend Paul Krupin. The call center takes your particulars and sends you a link to the DeepHorizonResponse submissions form .. i.e. the call center has limited functionality – I sense it more for appearances – they are there 24/7 but so what?
Suddenly, last week I got a positive response from BP – but again; no reference to which of my 6 or 7 ideas. What’s wrong with assigning each and every idea a case number? ( I should submit a suggestion on how to run a suggestion’s submission forum).
It was a weird letter – it stated that they had already sent me a notice indicating my idea as having been elevated to the next level of review (which they hadn’t done) and then they introduced a big fat logic error by cutting and pasting the “It has been determined that your idea falls into one of the following ART
categories: Already Considered/Planned, Not Feasible, or Not Possible – and therefore will not be advanced for further evaluation. ” – ooops! (The right fingers don’t know what the right hand is doing!)
Then I got no less than 3 more ‘no thank you letters’ even though I hadn’t submitted any new proposals. I called the call-center indicating I need a phone call from ‘powers on-high’ to clarify matters – “we don’t have contact information – thank you – goodbye!” click, bzzz! : )’
Originally, they indicate having received 100,000 suggestions with 200 clearing the initial bar now it’s suddenly 80,000 with 250 – clearing the bar. What gives – which is it? Wonder why the ‘re-shuffle’?
I was sent a decision-tree, flow-chart – the ‘ART decision tree’ – I must say; decidedly vague and borderline non-nonsensical. Let’s just say it would not pass high-school Intro to Programming 101. And it was a lousy reproduction – I had to apply enhancement and magnification – to be able to read it – it was just a single simple skin-and-bones outline. Hardly satisfactory – really.
I have to agree with your original assessment re: woefully under-whelming response.
The term “amateur craftsmanship” comes to mind
I can overlook most everything – in relation to this public-input solicitation debacle – except for the lack of case-numbers.
It should be prohibited by law to solicit for public input without assigning a case-number – in the very least.
Companies (3M comes to mind) will not even consider accepting an idea unless you’ve patented it. It’s to protect you and to protect them.
BP is soliciting for ideas without any book-keeping what-so-ever.
Helloo? Earth to BP – come in please! Do you copy? What’s happened to my (multi) million-dollar industry-revolutionizing idea? My “Safety-Casing©” idea. = S
I’d say “unbelievable”–except that it’s entirely too believable(and inexcusable. We could peddle them some spare brains. Thanks for sharing.
I submitted half a dozen ideas – I got a bunch of identical form letters as per your friend Paul Krupin. The call center takes your particulars and sends you a link to the DeepHorizonResponse submissions form .. i.e. the call center has limited functionality – I sense it more for appearances – they are there 24/7 but so what?
Suddenly, last week I got a positive response from BP – but again; no reference to which of my 6 or 7 ideas. What’s wrong with assigning each and every idea a case number? ( I should submit a suggestion on how to run a suggestion’s submission forum).
It was a weird letter – it stated that they had already sent me a notice indicating my idea as having been elevated to the next level of review (which they hadn’t done) and then they introduced a big fat logic error by cutting and pasting the “It has been determined that your idea falls into one of the following ART
categories: Already Considered/Planned, Not Feasible, or Not Possible – and therefore will not be advanced for further evaluation. ” – ooops! (The right fingers don’t know what the right hand is doing!)
Then I got no less than 3 more ‘no thank you letters’ even though I hadn’t submitted any new proposals. I called the call-center indicating I need a phone call from ‘powers on-high’ to clarify matters – “we don’t have contact information – thank you – goodbye!” click, bzzz! : )’
Originally, they indicate having received 100,000 suggestions with 200 clearing the initial bar now it’s suddenly 80,000 with 250 – clearing the bar. What gives – which is it? Wonder why the ‘re-shuffle’?
I was sent a decision-tree, flow-chart – the ‘ART decision tree’ – I must say; decidedly vague and borderline non-nonsensical. Let’s just say it would not pass high-school Intro to Programming 101. And it was a lousy reproduction – I had to apply enhancement and magnification – to be able to read it – it was just a single simple skin-and-bones outline. Hardly satisfactory – really.
I have to agree with your original assessment re: woefully under-whelming response.
The term “amateur craftsmanship” comes to mind
I can overlook most everything – in relation to this public-input solicitation debacle – except for the lack of case-numbers.
It should be prohibited by law to solicit for public input without assigning a case-number – in the very least.
Companies (3M comes to mind) will not even consider accepting an idea unless you’ve patented it. It’s to protect you and to protect them.
BP is soliciting for ideas without any book-keeping what-so-ever.
Helloo? Earth to BP – come in please! Do you copy? What’s happened to my (multi) million-dollar industry-revolutionizing idea? My “Safety-Casing©” idea. = S
I’d say “unbelievable”–except that it’s entirely too believable(and inexcusable. We could peddle them some spare brains. Thanks for sharing.
I don’t find anything wrong in the letter. It was clear, to the point, polite. What else do you want? Kiss kiss baby? Please, this is serious! These people do not have time to waste. They are wasting enough time and money with bully obama and his thieves. They need to focus on the spill. If the clown we have as president would not use this for his political agenda, this spill would be already stopped and they would be already cleaning this mess. Unfortunately for BP and USA, the president is an anti-American radical Muslim.
@jodiecammergan I don’t see telling people who submit ideas to BP that essentially tell them to go f themselves as polite. And if you really think Obama is”anti-American radical Muslim,” you need far more help than I can give you. Your reality is not the reality that’s out there.
I don’t find anything wrong in the letter. It was clear, to the point, polite. What else do you want? Kiss kiss baby? Please, this is serious! These people do not have time to waste. They are wasting enough time and money with bully obama and his thieves. They need to focus on the spill. If the clown we have as president would not use this for his political agenda, this spill would be already stopped and they would be already cleaning this mess. Unfortunately for BP and USA, the president is an anti-American radical Muslim.
@jodiecammergan I don’t see telling people who submit ideas to BP that essentially tell them to go f themselves as polite. And if you really think Obama is”anti-American radical Muslim,” you need far more help than I can give you. Your reality is not the reality that’s out there.
I don’t find anything wrong in the letter. It was clear, to the point, polite. What else do you want? Kiss kiss baby? Please, this is serious! These people do not have time to waste. They are wasting enough time and money with bully obama and his thieves. They need to focus on the spill. If the clown we have as president would not use this for his political agenda, this spill would be already stopped and they would be already cleaning this mess. Unfortunately for BP and USA, the president is an anti-American radical Muslim.
@jodiecammergan I don’t see telling people who submit ideas to BP that essentially tell them to go f themselves as polite. And if you really think Obama is”anti-American radical Muslim,” you need far more help than I can give you. Your reality is not the reality that’s out there.
I don’t find anything wrong in the letter. It was clear, to the point, polite. What else do you want? Kiss kiss baby? Please, this is serious! These people do not have time to waste. They are wasting enough time and money with bully obama and his thieves. They need to focus on the spill. If the clown we have as president would not use this for his political agenda, this spill would be already stopped and they would be already cleaning this mess. Unfortunately for BP and USA, the president is an anti-American radical Muslim.
@jodiecammergan I don’t see telling people who submit ideas to BP that essentially tell them to go f themselves as polite. And if you really think Obama is”anti-American radical Muslim,” you need far more help than I can give you. Your reality is not the reality that’s out there.
Hey BP is trying really hard to fix the oil spill, people should give them more credit for working hard. It’s not their fault.
@Carl What’s your real name? You’re obviously not the BP chair. I love this line on your blog: “Has Carl Henric Svanberg ever heard of Leona Helmsley?”
Hey BP is trying really hard to fix the oil spill, people should give them more credit for working hard. It’s not their fault.
@Carl What’s your real name? You’re obviously not the BP chair. I love this line on your blog: “Has Carl Henric Svanberg ever heard of Leona Helmsley?”
Hey BP is trying really hard to fix the oil spill, people should give them more credit for working hard. It’s not their fault.
@Carl What’s your real name? You’re obviously not the BP chair. I love this line on your blog: “Has Carl Henric Svanberg ever heard of Leona Helmsley?”
Hey BP is trying really hard to fix the oil spill, people should give them more credit for working hard. It’s not their fault.
@Carl What’s your real name? You’re obviously not the BP chair. I love this line on your blog: “Has Carl Henric Svanberg ever heard of Leona Helmsley?”
Shel, it’s a long shot but you may want to approach the communications and public relations people at BP and offer your assistance. I saw several of them listed on Linkedin.
https://www.linkedin.com/search/fpsearch?title=public+relations¤tTitle=CP&company=bp¤tCompany=CP&searchLocationType=Y&keepFacets=keepFacets&page_num=1&pplSearchOrigin=ADVS&viewCriteria=1&sortCriteria=R&redir=redir
@Steven Thanks for the contact suggestion. I’m honestly not at all sure I’d accept them as a client unless I saw a significant readjustment of their very cavalier attitude about the spill. I dislike working for companies that care so little about “the small people,” as the real Svanberg calls us.
Shel, it’s a long shot but you may want to approach the communications and public relations people at BP and offer your assistance. I saw several of them listed on Linkedin.
https://www.linkedin.com/search/fpsearch?title=public+relations¤tTitle=CP&company=bp¤tCompany=CP&searchLocationType=Y&keepFacets=keepFacets&page_num=1&pplSearchOrigin=ADVS&viewCriteria=1&sortCriteria=R&redir=redir
@Steven Thanks for the contact suggestion. I’m honestly not at all sure I’d accept them as a client unless I saw a significant readjustment of their very cavalier attitude about the spill. I dislike working for companies that care so little about “the small people,” as the real Svanberg calls us.
Shel, it’s a long shot but you may want to approach the communications and public relations people at BP and offer your assistance. I saw several of them listed on Linkedin.
https://www.linkedin.com/search/fpsearch?title=public+relations¤tTitle=CP&company=bp¤tCompany=CP&searchLocationType=Y&keepFacets=keepFacets&page_num=1&pplSearchOrigin=ADVS&viewCriteria=1&sortCriteria=R&redir=redir
@Steven Thanks for the contact suggestion. I’m honestly not at all sure I’d accept them as a client unless I saw a significant readjustment of their very cavalier attitude about the spill. I dislike working for companies that care so little about “the small people,” as the real Svanberg calls us.
Shel, it’s a long shot but you may want to approach the communications and public relations people at BP and offer your assistance. I saw several of them listed on Linkedin.
https://www.linkedin.com/search/fpsearch?title=public+relations¤tTitle=CP&company=bp¤tCompany=CP&searchLocationType=Y&keepFacets=keepFacets&page_num=1&pplSearchOrigin=ADVS&viewCriteria=1&sortCriteria=R&redir=redir
@Steven Thanks for the contact suggestion. I’m honestly not at all sure I’d accept them as a client unless I saw a significant readjustment of their very cavalier attitude about the spill. I dislike working for companies that care so little about “the small people,” as the real Svanberg calls us.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ShelHorowitzGreenMkt, ShelHorowitzGreenMkt. ShelHorowitzGreenMkt said: How NOT to write a corporate memo–lesson by example from none other than BP & boy, do they smell rotten https://bit.ly/c2mhTQ […]
On all levels BP is a disaster of epic proportions. They only want to capture their precious oil, no matter how many lives it costs.
You don’t have to be a nature writer to find this whole situation obscene, unforgivable and daunting.
If BP is not a manifestation of Satan, I don’t know what is.
On all levels BP is a disaster of epic proportions. They only want to capture their precious oil, no matter how many lives it costs.
You don’t have to be a nature writer to find this whole situation obscene, unforgivable and daunting.
If BP is not a manifestation of Satan, I don’t know what is.
On all levels BP is a disaster of epic proportions. They only want to capture their precious oil, no matter how many lives it costs.
You don’t have to be a nature writer to find this whole situation obscene, unforgivable and daunting.
If BP is not a manifestation of Satan, I don’t know what is.
On all levels BP is a disaster of epic proportions. They only want to capture their precious oil, no matter how many lives it costs.
You don’t have to be a nature writer to find this whole situation obscene, unforgivable and daunting.
If BP is not a manifestation of Satan, I don’t know what is.